Crazy Shoes

My grandmother used to make a full English breakfast over an open metal grill powered by wood logs. The grid left attractive sear marks on the sausages, bacon and toast. (These current celebrity chefs are not a patch on my Granny!)  Her Naija soups were made in black earthenware pots. Whatever she made, had the unique and tantalising aromas from the burning wood impressed upon it. I have never since then tasted grilled bacon, sausages, or toast that have the unique dimensions of flavour that came from my Grandma's kitchen. Neither have any Naija soups tasted like hers, which always had a rich, rounded taste and aroma, without any stock cubes added. Ingredients that needed blending were ground on a traditional grinding stone which consisted of a large oval slab of granite and a smaller oblong piece, just the right size for grasping with a pair of hands aligned side by side. I am convinced this method of blending, pre-mingled the ingredients before they ever came together in the pot, and contributed to stock cube free richness.


Another culinary accessory that I remember was a large brown earthenware pot with a lid that was kept in one corner of her bedroom, in which drinking water was stored. It always tasted cool, and somehow never took on the room's warmer ambient temperature.
I was totally enthralled by her stories of how she traded in bolts of fabric between Akure and Benin City, and how her journeys were made on foot, usually in the company of other women traders. She told me that it took a long time, and how she packed food and basic cooking utensils, and how meals were made en route. They lit fires to sleep next to in the forest, whenever their journeys demanded they took a break at night. Apparently, there were no roads as such, and many routes were footpaths. To my surprise, she said it was common to walk these vast distances barefoot. You might be wondering why I've started up with tales of my Grand mamma. Well, I just remembered her when I came across various articles talking about the benefits of running and walking bare feet. Grandma  didn't make any high faluting statements about it, it was just the natural thing to do then.

This made me search for images of bare foot running shoes, and oh my word, the most weird and wonderful images came up.

I went on further to search for 'crazy shoes' and I was blown away by the results. I just had to share them.
Enjoy!
Feast your eyes on crazy shoes and let your imagination run riot if you dare!

This pair here that looks like a lady's manicured feet with painted toenails are just bizarre, I find them both abhorrent and delightful.

You don't need to worry about being slipped up on an unseen banana peel, either by accident or by the malicious intent of your unseen enemies, you can make your own slithery steps in these

Those with more than a passing interest in food will be pleased with this lot. They can be used as part of a new dieting strategy. You wear your food on your feet all the time, and get your brain and psyche used to seeing food that you cant eat. Thereby allowing yourself to salivate, but curbing all desire to eat by satisfying yourself with just another look at your feet!
Mind you, I can see quite a few veggies in these sandwich flip flops, so I hereby declare them to be healthy.

 I guess you could also claim to be from Bolognia, and wear these as your own take on 'national attire' to the next diplomatic gathering. You might just start off another world war because Italy might take offense. Unless of course you are Italian, then you would either be thought of as just having poor taste in shoes, or acclaimed as the latest hotshot in unique design thought

The best way to campaign against the wanton consumption of red meat which has been blamed for a long list of health problems, is to wear these. I am wondering if they come with an appropriate smell as well. In which case, the campaign will be very short lived especially in a neighbourhood with many stray dogs. Then again, I would advise against wading into shark infested waters. The smell may also attract flies which would add another dimension to this design, rather like sequined or diamante embelishments

I think I would just write off a lady wearing these as 'a wet fish', I would try my level best to get her to take the 'scales from her eyes.' Nothing like a pair of sardines or barracuda on your feet to skew your perspective on life.

This is the definitive answer to the problems of the 'vertically challenged', In my language (Yoruba) these would be called
Onile gogoro- which literally means tall building or sky scraper. You might well start swaying and resemble the leaning tower of Piza. I would take out an insurance policy before mounting these!

Never get your feet stuck in that annoying bubble gum , ever again. I imagine there is a built in chewing gum sensor rather like the repulsion between like poles. I wager that it is the best way out of a sticky situation, since you would be wearing one of your very own.

While we are on the subject of bubble gum and stretchy things, you can catapult yourself into the limelight wearing this sturdy pair of slippers.

No one will ever be able to cheat you at the check out counter with this self service maths calculator, gadget-shoe-like thingy. if you jump up and down you can make your own music as well which makes this a two for the price of one, value for money item.

Either you will offend dog lovers who will cross the street when they see you coming, or dogs themselves will. This will certainly set some dogs off barking wildly, and whimpering alternately, as they become confused as to what is going on. Take care to watch out for aggression from the smarter dogs.These should be worn by a dog psychologist as a way of increasing demand for their services, and oh i forgot to mention that you will feel extra stable on eight instead of two legs.

No one can accuse you of being a heel.

Eh? What coral reef? Oh these things on my feet are my own personal cluster of temples. One or two of them have genies living in them and I can call on them at any time. The others whistle all by themselves especially when I am running in the wind. I don't stay in one place long enough for barnacles to attach themselves, these things here are more temples at an earlier growth stage.