New Year 2014

As 2014 rolled in, I started to reflect on my desires, plans and wishes for the year. In fact, I had been thinking about this for over a month prior to December 31st. 

At the beginning of the previous year 2013, I wrote out a list of elaborate plans which I grouped under key sectors such as;Spiritual,Professional,Personal, Health etc. I wrote down 'next steps', 'action plans' and included all sorts of footnotes. It was a massive brainstorming session. I felt good afterwards, but that feeling was short-lived as I surveyed the long list and instantly got stage fright as it dawned on me what an enormous task lay ahead of me. I actually stuck together several A4 sheets so that I would have everything in one place. There after, a vicious circle began where I attempted to implement my grand plans, came up short, fell into a guilt trip and on and on it went.
At first it seemed like an utterly useless activity! On deeper contemplation, I realised that the excercise had value in that I was able to do a  mental 'clear out' of sorts.

I entered this New Year with only one decision , which is such a contrast to a year ago. In simplifying things, I think I might have got rid of some lurking anxiety and given room to be instructed from above. As a result, I have found myself more focussed, and gaining better clarity as to what my next steps should be. Perhaps after all, the massive brainstorm was indeed part of the route to get here.
The one decision that I made was so simple but yet profound.
It was to be still.
To be still before God is not easy, and requires discipline, and I have discovered that I must keep whispering my new strategy to myself. Being still literally means banishing fear in every shape or form. Fear has its uses, and must be paid attention to in the right context, but really, 99.9% of the time, it is to be stared down and asked to go away.
So far, in two months of being still, there have been positive outcomes. Being still has allowed me to feel the love of God, and to receive it in a refreshing new way. In my stillness I was led to ask for wisdom-oh yeah! Just like Solomon. In my stillness I have discovered un confessed sin, bad attitudes, and hurt that needs healing. This may be the most important decision that I've ever made. I am released into a renewed confidence that I will be led aright and God hears me and speaks to me;because of that, I am strengthened within.

The words of Psalm 131 sprang to mind, I think it speaks very clearly about being still.